Friday, September 21, 2007

According to this Man...



Da Bears will beat the Dallas Cowboys 157 to 3!!!


But according to this guy......



No Bears will be left unskinned.

43 comments:

spartachris said...

Ah'm gunna say four hundrad ta tree, Bahb.
BUT. Devin Hester will be held undar two hundrad points.

Lefty Metalhead said...

Da Cowboyssss will sneak in da tree pointsss asss we all know dem dallasss people are teeves.

BigNewsDay said...

The only way the Bears will win is if you Chicagoans get your little mafia to rig the game.

Lefty Metalhead said...

Maybe we will BND...maybe we will!

"Joey 'The Clown' Lombardo was released from federal custody Friday for undisclosed reasons. He was spotted getting into what appeared to be coach Lovie Smith's late model Mercedez-Benz. Police believe Lombardo was carrying a baseball bat, and that they were on their way to Halas Hall"

spartachris said...

Did I open up the paper this morning and read that your 'Boys are afraid to kick to #23?

If I had that little confidence knowing the batter would knock it out of the park every time I pitched to him, maybe I would be afraid too.

Lefty Metalhead said...

I don't blame the 'Boys for being afraid of the Windy City Flier. It's almost guaranteed he'll return a kick or punt for a TD if they give him a few opportunities.

But hey, we won't really need Hester this game. Tommie Harris and Brian Urlacher will be forcing Romo to fumble all night long.

BEAR DOWN CHICAGO BEARS!!!

BigNewsDay said...

Naw, we'll kick to th' little peckerwood, then kill the som'bitch.

Two words for yaw

HANG TIME!!!!!!

Lefty Metalhead said...

What good is hangtime when you won't get a chance to have it? Our special teams blocked a field goal attempt last week. We can easily block one of your punts.

Come Sunday, a certain team from a certain Midwestern town, whose name starts with a C, ends with an O, and has HICAG in the middle, will be raising their hands in victory!

spartachris said...

Yeah, whatever.
I heard Romo blew chunks on Queen Elizabeth.
Guy grins a lot, too. You know who else grinned a lot? Hitler.

Lefty Metalhead said...

...and Nelson Mandela grinned a lot too, and we all know he's dead, according to Bush, who's from Texas!

BigNewsDay said...

I guess you guys haven't paid much attention to the Cowboys' offensive line. Big, fast, and tough as shit. Urlacher is going to be hurtin' come Monday morning.

Lefty Metalhead said...

Maybe hurting after all the sacks he's going to get, and I'm not talking about male body parts!

Boy this is fun! I would give anything to either go to Dallas and watch the game with you BND, or fly you over here. We'd probably be wasted by Halftime.

BigNewsDay said...

"Boy this is fun! I would give anything to either go to Dallas and watch the game with you BND, or fly you over here. We'd probably be wasted by Halftime."

No doubt brother!!!

Lefty Metalhead said...

We can't have fun like this with Packer fans because it gets serious fast. But with a brother like BND and his 'Boys, it's all good.

Anyway, I'll get down to business since I must change my prediction:

If the 'Boys kick to Hester, the score will be:

179 - 7

If they don't:

88 - 14

spartachris said...

I have. And I've had better, I suppose.
Still doesn't excuse Romo from inventing West Nile Virus.

Lefty Metalhead said...

From the Cowboys Website:

"Although the season is just two games old, the Cowboys should learn a little more about themselves after facing the Bears' menacing defense Sunday night in Chicago."

Menacing - that says it all!
All they're going to learn is that Tony Romo can't connect with T.O. when he faces an actually good defense!

BigNewsDay said...

Didn't Grossman invent the AIDS? Damn, I feel sorry for that Packer who popped him in the pooper.

Lefty Metalhead said...

If Grossman invented AIDS, then Tony Romo invented mental retardation.

How's it feel to have a 'tard as your QB?

BigNewsDay said...

hey, that 'tard is a damn good QB with a hot girlfriend and a huge paycheck. At least he can throw a football. The real question is "How does it feel to have a quarterback who isn't even half as good as a 'tard?"

Lefty Metalhead said...

I hope Grossman gets a laceration during the game and infects that false mexican and the entire Cowboys organization with AIDS.

Carrie Underwood isn't even that hot. Nothing like easy city chicks!

BigNewsDay said...

you just ain't never had no good country girls. nuttin' like a good romp in the hey with nice hick chick.

Lefty Metalhead said...

That's a good point.

But then again, you've never banged a slutty city chick in some dark alley in the middle of the night.

Nevertheless, such romps don't count if they involve siblings!

BigNewsDay said...

I've had my share of dark alley city sex, but that whole sibling thing is only in arkansas, oklahoma, louisiana, and parts of mississppi.

BigNewsDay said...

but we also have the best food in the world down here.

Lefty Metalhead said...

Best food? You're just riding the culinary coattails of my people! You and your savory fajitas, and tacos, and burritos, and enchiladas...DAMN I'M HUNGRY!!!

And I mustn't forget the legendary Mango'ritas!

BigNewsDay said...

and Chicago has what?

oh yeah, sauerkraut!!!

BigNewsDay said...

OK, Chicago pizza is pretty damn good, but we have both authentic Mexican food as well as Tex-Mex. actually some of the best food I've ever had was from a taco shack in the back of a liquer store off of Harry Hines in Dallas.

Lefty Metalhead said...

I don't think we have very good Tex-Mex here, but our authentic Mexican is excellent! I usually judge a particular establishment according to what my mom thinks of it. Since she was born and raised in Mexico, she surely knows what Mexican food is all about. If she says a restaurant is at least comparable to the authentic stuff, I leave with a favorable impression.

BigNewsDay said...

Unlike most Texans, I do know the difference between real Mexican food and Tex Mex. I look at them as two completely different types of food. This way I don't feel guilty eating fajitas and chimichangas (smothered in chili con carne).

Lefty Metalhead said...

Nothing like some Carnitas on a Sunday morning, with a side of rice and pinto beans!

spartachris said...

Damn I missed a lot. Stupid work.

I respect Romo. He's a good kid, he shows signs of a great quarterback NOW. Sounds like a nice guy too.

I just don't understand why he signed William Hung to a contract and slapped an elderly woman in a wheelchair.

BigNewsDay said...

That's right. We were talkin' bout football! Damn Chicagoans divertin' my attention to grub.

BigNewsDay said...

No, you have that all wrong. He signed the breast of an old lady in a wheel chair and he slapped William Hung. Get your facts straight. Are you sure you don't work for the media?

Lefty Metalhead said...

Bill O'Reilly has professed his admiration for Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys. That alone makes me root for Chicago all the way!

BigNewsDay said...

Isn't Ann Coulter a huge Bears fan? I think I saw bears pendant hanging under her Adam's Apple.

spartachris said...

Isn't Chris Crocker a big Cowboys fan?
"Leave Tony Romo alone!!!!"

BigNewsDay said...

I know the entire Jena police force along with the judges and D.A. all talk about how great the Bears are while they are out beatin' the colored kids.

BigNewsDay said...

That's correct. I think it has something to do with the two syllable word, or maybe they were talking about beers. Hmmm? Either way Chicago can have 'em.

spartachris said...

AND.
I heard Romo ALMOST DIDN'T knock out Danzig in a recent altercation. Seeing as everyone from Barbara Walters to Woody Allen has put down Danzig with one punch and hardly made this an accomplishment, I'd say this is questionable.

Lefty Metalhead said...

I heard that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wanted to attend the Cowboys - Bears game this Sunday decked out in Terrell Owens jersey and cowboy boots. Unfortunately, Chicago Bears fans wanted no extremist at their stadium!

spartachris said...

Lefty. That was fucking hilarious man. Great use of current events.

BigNewsDay said...

You racist infidels!!!!!!!!

Lefty Metalhead said...

BND and you have also used current events quite well!

I'm sure the Cowboys will be doing lots of videotaping of the Bears defense this Sunday.

On a related note, Osama Bin Laden's latest video concludes with him screaming "Go Cowboys!"